August
2008
When our confidence takes a hit
There are times in our lives when our confidence takes a hit. We can be shocked when we realise there is a mismatch between our expectations and reality. This can happen at a performance review at work or when a spouse asks for a divorce. We can be surprised or even immobilised by an event that has given us insight into the way others perceive us.
What we do next is critical. The natural reaction is to go straight into denial and the perception of ourselves can even be enhanced through this process. We may feel there is no reason to make any changes and in fact, the change needs to be made by others. Staying in denial does not serve us.
Making the next step is like taking a leap of faith. We become aware of the changes we need to make and we understand the levels of our competence. This awareness transforms into acceptance of reality and an understanding that change is neccessary. We have to adopt new attitudes and habits.
The acceptance phase is painful and if we are not careful, we may choose to fall back into denial where it is more comfortable. The good news though is that once we have accepted that change must take place, we move into action, we practice new approaches and we try to do things differently.
This phase is known as the praxis or experimentation phase. The important aspect of this phase is the learning we take on from the feedback we receive when we do things differently. This is where we generate new insights and breakthroughs.
We then search for meaning to understand the reasons for achieving success o failure. We create new paradigms and personal theories which we then integrate into new skills and behaviours.
This model is adapted from Adams et al (1976) and is called the Transition Curve. Although described here as a linear process, it is the case that we often slip back into denial without moving through the stages of awareness, acceptance, praxis, search for meaning and integration.
A personal or executive coach will support u through this journey and guide us through to integration so that the changes we detremine to make are embedded into ournew life to achieve our desired goals.
If you wish to talk to me about coaching please call me on 02 8006 1065.
If you have any questions about executive coaching or personal development please do not hesitate to e-mail eugene@thelifegym.com.au and I will answer your questions within 24 hours.
Have a great week.
Eugene
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